When I Came Out to My Mother

April 12, 2008

by

DignityUSA

<h2>Remarks made at demonstration at the United Nations during Pope Benedict XVI&rsquo;s Pastoral Visit to the United States</h2> <h4>By Lourdes Rodr&iacute;guez-Nogu&eacute;s<br /> Vice-President DignityUSA</h4><p><span class=Apple-style-span style=font-family: Verdana; font-size: 16px; ><p style=font-family: Verdana Arial Helvetica sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin-right: 30px; >When I came out to my mother the first question she asked me was:</p><p style=font-family: Verdana Arial Helvetica sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin-right: 30px; >&ldquo;What about God?&rdquo;<br />I think that what she really was asking was:<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &ldquo;Do you still love God?&rdquo;<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &ldquo;Does God still love you?&rdquo;<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &ldquo;Can you go to Mass? Would you?&rdquo;<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &ldquo;Is God going to reject you?&rdquo;<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &ldquo;Are you going to abandon God?&rdquo;</p><p style=font-family: Verdana Arial Helvetica sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin-right: 30px; >My mother knew the position of the Church and as the very good Catholic woman that she is she was expressing the conflict that she felt inside her heart between her daughter and the Church between God and the daughter that she loved.</p><p style=font-family: Verdana Arial Helvetica sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin-right: 30px; >I knew I would not be the one out and I also knew that my mother really did not have to choose.&nbsp; That was not what God wanted for her or for me.</p><p style=font-family: Verdana Arial Helvetica sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin-right: 30px; >I reassured my mother that my heart was filled with love for God; and that I knew with all certainty that God loved me and was delighted in the way I lived my life.<br />That was enough for her.</p><p style=font-family: Verdana Arial Helvetica sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin-right: 30px; >But I ask Pope Benedict:<br />Why did the church put my mother in that excruciatingly painful dilemma?<br />Was all that angst that my mother went through necessary?<br />Did it serve and honor God?<br />Really.</p><p style=font-family: Verdana Arial Helvetica sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin-right: 30px; >My mother and I did very well still do and when my partner Diane and I&nbsp;visit her in Puerto Rico where she and my father now live we do go to Mass together. She has been at Dignity/Boston with us and she knows that God loves me and that I have not abandoned my faith.</p><p style=font-family: Verdana Arial Helvetica sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin-right: 30px; >But I know about other Latino men and women whose stories do not have such a happy ending.<br />Such unnecessary pain.<br />And again I ask you Pope Benedict:&nbsp; Does all this serve and honor God?</p><p style=font-family: Verdana Arial Helvetica sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin-right: 30px; >When Pope John Paul II visited Cuba several years ago he said that he had gone there to advocate for the respect of human rights and the freedom of religion.&nbsp; He went to give hope to the Catholic faithful.</p><p style=font-family: Verdana Arial Helvetica sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin-right: 30px; >As a Cuban I felt excited for the visit and respected and admired the Pope&rsquo;s stance on human rights and his decision to make the Cuban government accountable.</p><p style=font-family: Verdana Arial Helvetica sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin-right: 30px; >What the Pope went to do in Cuba is what I am doing here today:&nbsp; Standing up to speak in defense of human rights.</p><p style=font-family: Verdana Arial Helvetica sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin-right: 30px; >Today I call on Pope Benedict to do what his predecessor did in Cuba.&nbsp; Stand up for civil rights.</p><p style=font-family: Verdana Arial Helvetica sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin-right: 30px; >Take back the discriminatory and hurtful language that you use to talk about GLBT people.</p><p style=font-family: Verdana Arial Helvetica sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin-right: 30px; >Speak in a language of love and inclusion like Jesus did.</p><p style=font-family: Verdana Arial Helvetica sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin-right: 30px; >Speak in support of the civil rights of all people &ndash; including mine a Cuban Catholic lesbian and all my brothers and sisters who are gay lesbian bisexual and transgender.</p><p style=font-family: Verdana Arial Helvetica sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin-right: 30px; ><em>Que as&iacute; sea.</em></p></span></p>