Remembrance of Deenie Dudley

October 4, 2014

by

DignityUSA

<p><img alt= src=/sites/default/files/DeenieDudley_0.png style=border-style:solid; border-width:4px; float:right; height:250px; margin:5px; width:187px />by Kathy Healy</p> <p>Deenie Dudley one of the Foremothers of Dignity died suddenly on August 16 2014 following an emergency surgery for an&nbsp;aortic aneurysm. Deenie was 67. A few dear friends were with her as she passed peacefully. She died as she had lived on her own terms making her own decisions to the end.</p> <p>Deenie was very active in Dignity on the local regional and national levels in the 1970s and early 1980s. In her local chapter Dignity/Atlanta she held a number of offices including President. Deenie appeared on the national level at the 1977 Convention in Chicago. At that Convention she became an integral member of the Rules and Constitution Committee on which she participated until the 1979 Convention in Los Angeles. She first served on the national level as the Director representing Region IV. In 1983 Deenie became the first woman to run for the office of National President. Many of us vividly remember her t-shirt with the cross-stich like design in the center circle that read:&nbsp; Women&#39;s Sewing Circle and Terrorist Society. That was Deenie. She was always quietly catching your attention &amp; challenging your complacency. Although she did not win she raised many issues and brought the organization and both the men and women in it to a new level of awareness on many issues.</p> <p>Former DignityUSA President John Hager said this on hearing of Deenie&rsquo;s death &ldquo;Dignity has a long tradition dating back to our early years of engaging smart dedicated people to serve and promote the work of this organization. One of these persons was Deenie Dudley.</p> <p>&ldquo;I didn&rsquo;t get to know Deenie until 1983 when both of us headed slates of candidates for election as Dignity&rsquo;s officers for the 1983-85 term. Representatives of the slates would send candidates to each of the regional meetings held that summer (in advance of the election to be held at the Seattle Convention) and my best memories are of those times when Deenie and I appeared at the same meeting. We bonded quickly and while we may have disagreed on a few points I enjoyed our conversations as we got to know each other. In fact we ended up spending a lot of time together at these meetings so much so that at one point our friends chided us for spending too much time talking with each other instead of the regional delegates! But I couldn&rsquo;t resist. Deenie was engaging and dedicated truly cared about Dignity and its mission and understood the needs of others. Ultimately Deenie&rsquo;s slate was not elected but her words and presence inspired many present and future members of Dignity and added their strength to build the organization that we support today.&rdquo;</p> <p>In her personal life in Atlanta she worked for the CDC and tirelessly on HIV/AIDS issues until her retirement from that agency in 1988. At that time she moved back to her original home state of Washington to take care of her aging mother and stepfather. She then took care of a number of her elderly aunts. She was always deeply devoted to her St. Bernards wherever she was. She also set herself up in her own business. She assisted elderly people with tasks around their homes that they could no longer do so that they could stay in their homes longer. She also took care of pets in their own home so owners could go away and the pets did not need to be boarded away from the environment to which they were accustomed.</p> <p>Good friend and Dignity leader Mari Castellanos who first met Deenie at a Region IV meeting in Richmond Virginia remembers connecting with Deenie over their interest in science. She remembered late night phone calls including one where &ldquo;We shared the dread brought up by a bulletin from the CDC a headline I will never forget: &lsquo;Kaposi&rsquo;s Sarcoma Among Homosexual Men in New York.&rsquo;&rdquo; Nobody knew what it was but we all knew it was bad.</p> <p>&ldquo;When Deenie decided to go back home to Washington State (my partner) Diana and I drove up to Atlanta to see her off. Sue Woodruff had come down from Portland to keep Deenie company on the long ride. The two of them and the Saint Bernard taking off in a loaded U-Haul was quite the sight.&rdquo;</p> <p>Sue picks up the story. &ldquo;Diamond Lil Deenie&rsquo;s St. Bernard at that time rode between us on her pillow. Deenie had purchased a brand new Stetson to mark this significant move. The first evening we stopped at our &lsquo;large dog welcome&rsquo; motel walked Lil left her with water and food to guard the room and the truck while we went to dinner. Lil had decided the new hat was hers &ndash; a new chew toy. Bits and pieces of the lovely soft grey-blue Stetson were strewn everywhere. One look over my arm and off Deenie stomped cigarette in hand unrepeatable words flying from her mouth. Diamond Lil sat sheepishly in a corner while I quickly cleaned up before a much quieter Deenie finally returned. I think we made it to Wyoming before all was forgiven.&rdquo;</p> <p>There is no way to count the thousands of lives Deenie enriched just by being herself and always caring for others. The many women leaders involved in DignityUSA walk paths she helped to forge. She will be missed but not forgotten.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p>