Dignity Washington (DW) was honored to welcome Robert Cardinal McElroy and Father Tom Robertson (his Eminence’s Priest Secretary) as their guests at the Dignity Center Tuesday evening, May 12. Both were greeted by members of the Executive Committee who provided a tour of the Center and introduced them to the current Board of Directors and honored guests including former DW presidents, executive committee members, and long-time members.

The origins of this meeting occurred on Wednesday, January 21, 2026, at the Washington Archdiocesan Pastoral Center, when DW’s President, Vince L. R., Vice President, Peter E., and the Chair of the Liturgy Committee, Mike O. met with His Eminence.

The meeting was exceptionally positive and lasted just over an hour. The three of them had the opportunity to share their personal journeys to Dignity, offer historical context and current information about our chapter, and provide a clear picture of our mission, efforts, and community. Cardinal McElroy is well aware of Dignity’s beginnings and asked thoughtful questions, to which they were able to respond openly and constructively.

At the end of the meeting, they invited Cardinal McElroy to visit the Dignity Center for another opportunity for further discussions and get to know us better.

His Eminence expressed willingness to celebrate a Mass or lead a Prayer Service for our community at a future date and location of his choosing. He also indicated an openness to visiting the Dignity Center. Their meeting was a meaningful step forward in our ongoing efforts to build dialogue and a relationship with the Church.

In mid-April, Vince received word that His Eminence wanted to schedule a meeting with us at the Dignity Center. The meeting was scheduled for Tuesday, May 12 at 7:00 p.m.

DW prepared for the Cardinal’s visit and developed an agenda that was approved by the Cardinal’s office. When the Cardinal and his Secretary arrived, they were greeted by Vince and Peter. Jake H. and Jon S. provided a tour of the Dignity Center. After the tour, the Cardinal took the first steps to introduce himself to all present by shaking the hands of all in attendance with genuine interest.

One of the first discussions was by two DW members, James B. and Mike O., who opened the conversation with the topic of high school students’ priorities on LGBTQ+ issues and the silence from the Church. Jim mentioned working with the Cathedral of St. Matthew the Apostle in Washington, DC, to create a letter that spoke of the need for pastoral care for LGBTQ+ youth. Unfortunately, nothing came of it. Mike spoke of the gay/straight alliance at his school and noted how boys and young men can be cruel, but he also noted that he has seen a decline in such cruelty over his 21 years of teaching. Mike suggested that word from the highest echelon endorsing the gay/straight alliance would benefit its efforts immensely.

Cardinal McElroy shared a story about an “ugly issue” of boys and a gay bashing incident conducted by four Catholic students in California. The damage they inflicted on a gay couple was crippling. Two of the high school students were expelled from the school while the remaining two who witnessed the beating were not. Because of this situation, the Cardinal raised a question about what would have happened if the gay couple had been “an elderly woman?” With that juxtaposition, the two other students were expelled. Later in the evening, the subject of bullying came up again. The Cardinal suggested that we must find common ground with others and parents to address the root of the problem and work together to solve it. He also noted that bullying includes more than sexual orientation.

There was considerable discussion surrounding the writing of then Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger in October 1986, commonly known as the “Halloween Letter.” Several people voiced the effect of it on the Dignity Washington community and the damage and pain that still resonates for many of us. The Cardinal agreed with us on the painfulness of the Halloween Letter’s wording. He noted that when he read an advanced copy, before it was published, he advised that the hurtful wording, especially the use of the word "disordered" be deleted. It was not.

Cardinal McElroy mentioned that as part of Pope Francis’ “Synod of Synodality,” LGBTQ issues were part of the topics of discussion and spoke directly to the report from Committee 9. That report directly reflects the process(es) that were used to listen to LGBTQ people – a hot button – and their lived experience. It is NOT the final thought/discussion on the subject, but it does represent a watershed moment – a start – in a continued conversation, highlighting that LGBTQ people are indeed part of the Catholic roadmap.

James S. and his husband, Rev. Jason C. W., attended the Jubilee at the Vatican last year which was a monumental experience for them both for different reasons. Jason mentioned that seeing James’ reaction, as a cradle Catholic, walking through the Holy Door, is something that will stay with him forever. The joy and affirmation beaming from James’ face is something Jason imagined Dignity Washington members were experiencing from afar.

A similar feeling swept over Jason during Cardinal McElroy’s visit. His Eminence’s very presence at the Dignity Center brought joy and affirmation that James and he experienced at the Vatican. He felt welcomed yet brought up how “you are welcome” or “all are welcome” banners are on display at many Episcopal Churches in Washington, DC and how that means a great deal. In retrospect, it would be wonderful if Catholic Churches could do the same.

On another topic, Cardinal McElroy explained how he had attended several diocesan meetings and he is disturbed by reports of the exodus of young people from the church. He thought that parishes should be a place of close interaction with Jesus Christ. In his own way, he is trying to experiment with solutions to see what sticks.

Regarding retaining young people in the church, and the importance of sacramentality, Rory H. spoke of how Dignity Washington had welcomed him when he was 18 years old and his feeling unwelcomed in the greater Catholic Church. Because of the current federal administration’s curtailing of trans-related health care, employment rights, and legal documentation, and because of the 2025 U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops’ (USCCB) decision to deny transgender health care in and especially with respect to Catholic hospitals, there has been tremendous loss in healthcare, employment, and medical treatment in the last year. Catholic medical institutions are denying transgender people all health care, not just transition care, out of fear of reprisal, due to the USCCB’s mandates. Through DW, Rory continues to find a supportive community. DW’s support makes him feel welcome, keeps him in the Church, and provides both pastoral and spiritual care. DW is a special place. It welcomes people who would have otherwise felt forced to leave Catholic church spaces.

Gil P. spoke of his experience with the Cardinal saying that the most remarkable thing about meeting Cardinal McElroy was how unremarkable it was. There was no pomp, no ceremony, no ring kissing, no grandeur, no holy haughtiness. He was as down-to-earth, natural, and unaffected as it was possible to be. Had it not been for his clerical collar and his attention-getting pectoral cross, His Eminence could have been mistaken for a Yankee farmer…imbued with the sort of practicality, plain-spokenness and wisdom that his native New England has exported to the rest of the nation since the founding of the republic.

Gil went on to say that after being introduced to everyone, Cardinal McElroy took his assigned seat and looked right at us, with an expression that said silently, ok, go ahead. The ball is in your court. It was clear from that moment that he was there to listen, as opposed to being listened to. So, we expressed our thoughts, our ideas, our hurt at the way the church has treated us in the past, and our desire to fully share in the worship that unites all Catholics. His Eminence made it clear that since arriving in Washington, DC, he has done quite a bit of listening at parishes all over the archdiocese.

As he responded to our questions and concerns, Gil was left with two strong impressions: first, that he has heard this all before; and second, that he has dealt with this all before. Successfully, it turns out that (true to form) California is at the vanguard of what happens in the rest of the country. And as the Cardinal listened, and as he spoke about his experiences in California, one could sense the gears in his mind in motion: how can I apply what I learned there, over here? Overall, Gil’s impression is that he gets the feeling that we’re lucky he’s here.

His Eminence stayed with us for 90 minutes. He never looked at his watch and did not seem anxious to leave. Throughout the conversation, he was attentive, provided thoughtful responses, and most importantly, listened to our stories.

As Vince said during announcements following Mass on Sunday, May 17, 2026, he was impressed how the Cardinal immediately recognized him and said he was pleased to see him again while shaking hands. Throughout the evening, Vince was impressed by the Cardinal’s attention, understanding, and engagement with what the meeting participants shared.

In Vince’s closing statement, he thanked the Cardinal for his time and for coming to the Dignity Center to hear what was on the minds of many of those present. One of the next steps for Dignity Washington is to follow up the Cardinal's expressed willingness to celebrate a Mass or lead a Prayer Service for our community at a future date and location of his choosing.

The evening closed with a blessing for our community led by Cardinal McElroy which was gracious, heartfelt, and fitting for the meeting. Overall, it was a pleasant, informative, and respectful gathering, hopefully one of many future conversations. We left with a sense that we have an advocate with Cardinal McElroy.