Breath of the Spirit

RVC’s Weekly Spiritual Essay

 

December 26, 2004: THE HOLY FAMILY

 

Readings

Sirach 3:2-7, 12-14

Colossians 3:12-21

Matthew 2:13-15, 19-23

 

In the Hebrew Scriptures, where there is almost no belief in an afterlife, good family relations are the primary way in which Yahweh helps us reach fulfillment in this life.

 

That’s why Sirach is so free with familial advice. He’s not laying down laws which must be obeyed in order to get into heaven. He’s simply telling his community how to relate to one another so they’ll be able to create a heaven on earth. “God sets a father in honor over his children; a mother’s authority he confirms over her sons. Whoever honors his father atones for sins, and preserves himself from them . . . He stores riches who reveres his mother.” Parental care and concern extend throughout one’s life. “Take care of your father when he is old; grieve him not as long as he lives.”

 

I recently heard an insightful observation: “Things really aren’t getting worse; we’re just becoming more conscious of things.”

 

One of the drawbacks of being human is an inability to see everything at the same time. No matter the reality, we’re only able to see part of it in any one instant. That means, no matter how good our relations, we’re always able to deepen them in areas and levels we’ve yet to notice. Morality changes because of that limit. When I was young, for instance, it was considered morally good to create special parishes for African-Americans. Today we would call such a practice immoral. The change came from a deeper understanding of the effects of religious segregation.

 

This same change in morality is why the last four verses of today’s Colossians passage are bracketed. They may be omitted by the lector. Some of Paul’s advice to families is general enough to apply to all situations at all times. Other advice is so specific that, after 2,000 years of deeper reflection, it can be questioned.

 

We find no fault with, “Brothers and sisters: Put on as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another, if one has a grievance against another; as the Lord has forgiven you, so must you also do.”

 

Yet we would question, “Wives, be subordinate to your husbands, as is proper in the Lord . . . Children, obey your parents in everything, for this is pleasing to the Lord.” We live in a time in which spouse and child abuse is better understood than anyone could have imagined during Paul’s ministry. Today’s moral theologians wouldn’t stand behind such all-encompassing commands. A deeper perception of relationships demands exceptions.

 

Flexibility is key to fulfillment in family relations. In moving the Holy Family from Bethlehem to Egypt and then to Nazareth, Matthew is simply doing what his theology demands. Unlike Luke, he makes Bethlehem Joseph and Mary’s home town. He doesn’t create a Roman census to get them to David’s City for Jesus’ birth. But he does rely on Herod’s slaughter of babies to move them up to Nazareth. Of course, they detour to Egypt because, for Matthew’s Jewish/Christian community, Jesus is the new Moses. Like the great Jewish liberator and lawgiver, Mary and Joseph’s son must also come “out of Egypt.”

 

Still, theological reasons aside, according to Matthew, familial love demands we sacrifice everything for the welfare of the family. No possession or geographic security is worth more than the safety and good of each individual. A deepening love always determines our actions.

 

We who believe in eternal happiness should always remember that such happiness doesn’t revolve around eternally having lots of stuff. Rather, it’s rooted in the relationships we’ll experience beyond this life. If we don’t experience at least some of those changing relationships now – especially in our families – what would be so attractive about heaven?