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DignityUSA
PO Box 376
Medford, MA
02155
tel: 800.877.8797
202.861.0017
fax: 781.397.0584
email:
info@dignityusa.org
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RETURN TO > HISTORIC DOCUMENTS > ARCHIVES
> WHAT IS DIGNITY? > HOME
Where have we been all these years?
By
Pat McArron
DignityUSA Vice President
A speech given during Mass at St. Henry’s on the occasion of the 25th Anniversary of Dignity in San Antonio, Texas
August 12, 2001
Buenos Noches!
We have been on a journey, a journey to justice and equality.
"By the Grace of God I Am Who I Am....... and God’s Grace towards Me Has Not Been in Vain".
Dignity has a colorful, exciting, revealing, pioneering, dynamic, exuberant, challenging, spiritual and remarkable past. And the future of Dignity looks no less prophetic and meaningful.
We have been called by the Spirit to be all that we can be to one another and to the world around us. We do not always live up to the expectation of others and often times we falter in our journey to justice and peace. What is most important is that we continue to pick ourselves up and nurture the dignity that each of us possesses for the sake of one another.
It is on occasions like this, the celebration of a milestone, the marking of time that we pause to reflect on what we have accomplished in our past and recommit ourselves to the future.
I came to the conclusion, some time ago, that I really don’t need the Church (with a capital C). My spirituality, my connection with my creator, does not for me require boundaries, walls, rubrics, and dogma. What is required is that I live a life that contributes to the world around me. I also reached the conclusion that the Church needs me, needs us — to be what it can be and should be to the world around us.
The temptation to walk away from it all in disbelief, disgust and anger has been great in my life. And yet, in my current personal journey to help others live up to their potential, I feel that it is important to work within the Structure.
It is no secret that we have a "love-hate relationship" with our Church. It is also no secret that we believe there is something worth salvaging in the Catholic Church — it is called universal love and justice.
Where have we been all these years?
We have been on a journey, a journey to justice and equality.
"By the Grace of God I Am Who I Am....... and God’s Grace towards Me Has Not Been in Vain".
Dignity has played a significant role in the Church’s recent history. Dignity has influenced the thinking of Church leadership in ways that we could never have foreseen. Dignity has been viewed by some as a threat to the status quo, to misguided tradition, to authority. Dignity has also been seen as a breath of fresh air, the kind that John the XXIII often referred to during the Vatican II Council.
Dignity has been many things to many people over the years, both locally in San Antonio, and nationally. Dignity has been a state of mind, a physical place, and a spiritual haven. Dignity has been a thorn in the side of the establishment, a voice for the oppressed, an affirmation of who we are as the people of God and creation. Dignity was born out of necessity and remains strong out of compassion.
We are all shaped by our surroundings, our environment, and all of the people we come into contact with.
To celebrate 25 years as a community is no small fete. In a quarter of a century much has happened in our lives. Can we honestly say that we have made a difference in the lives of thousands of people? The answer is a resounding YES.
In the nearly 30 years that I have been working as a volunteer in Dignity I have witnessed many a transformation. I have been privileged to participate in the revelation of self-worth and dignity in the lives of hundreds of women and men. The Church was a very different place when Dignity was founded in 1969. The famous Stonewall riot in New York was the beginning of the civil rights movement for the glbt community. The founding Metropolitan Community Church and Dignity was no less the beginning of the spiritual rights movement for the glbt community. Dignity, as a group of dedicated men and women, has been a pioneer in the struggle for the rights and dignity of the glbt community. We have been responsible for considerable change in the lives of so many.
Where have we been all these years?
We have been on a journey, a journey to justice and equality.
"By the Grace of God I Am Who I Am....... and God’s Grace towards Me Has Not Been in Vain".
Change is not a new concept to Dignity. In fact, change is what we are all about. Dignity, I have heard it said from several non-profit organization volunteers, is still around because of our willingness as an organization to embrace change according to the needs of the times. The key is flexibility. Dignity has been flexible enough to recognize the need to be current in order to be effective as an instrument for change within our Church. A lesson our Church leaders have yet to fully realize for the Church to be truly significant and relevant in the world.
How has Dignity impacted the lives of thousands of people? Dignity has stood up to the Vatican establishment in clear unwavering terms and has paid the price. When the Vatican back in the 1980’s finally woke up to the fact that Dignity was a significant presence in the Church, the Vatican took note. Over their objections, Dignity stood fast on its premise that our love and the sexual expression of it are good. As a result, as we all know, Dignity was banned from using Church facilities to meet and worship. Dignity became a faith community in exile, and exile is a very painful experience.
While this was a wake up call for the Church, it was also a wake up call for Dignity. For several years Dignity was lulled into a sense of complacency. In several communities around the country Dignity was functioning under the misconception of having "our cake and eating it too". Dignity was the Elephant in the room. When the Church went public in 1986 with the now infamous Cardinal Ratzinger letter, the Elephant became a mouse that roared. Suddenly Dignity became the subject of a great deal of conversation and publicity. Gone were the days when Dignity could pretend to be accepted and welcomed through the front door. Who were these renegades, these rebels, these upstarts? How dare they be so bold as to tell the Church that homosexuality is a good thing? Well bold might not quite be the term we would have used back then. It was more like we were waking up to the fact that we had been seen but not heard. And it was time to be heard.
Dignity met the new challenge and re-examined our place in the Church. What emerged was a stronger and more determined Dignity that would not be silenced. Sadly the Ratzinger letter proved to be too much for some — and they gave up and walked. For those of us who stayed we were faced with new challenges. Where do we meet? Where do we worship? How do we get our message out to those who need to hear it the most? Fortunately for us the wait was not long. Many Protestant Churches, including the Episcopal Church welcomed us with open arms and with no conditions attached. How ironic that a Catholic organization would be celebrating the Mass in such places as the Unitarian Church.
One of the biggest blows came when our own Catholic Church called us "objectively disordered" and our sexual expression of love "intrinsically evil." This is not the Church that Christ intended it to be. Over the years since such unacceptable pronouncements, more and more Church renewal groups have emerged. Now, Dignity has lots of company and support. Dignity, I can say with full confidence was ahead of its time in the 1970’s. And Dignity in the new millennium has become a formidable voice that will not be silenced. The Vatican has had a policy that no longer flies — "We Don’t Ask, We Don’t Tell, and They Don’t listen."
Where have we been all these years?
We have been on a journey, a journey to justice and equality.
"By the Grace of God I Am Who I Am....... and God’s Grace towards Me Has Not Been in Vain".
I am happy to report that Dignity is alive and well in the 21st century. When Fr. Pat began his little group therapy sessions for gay Catholic men in San Diego, little did he know what was about to happen. Following the placement of a small ad in the classifieds of the Advocate newspaper the mail started to flow. Eventually that flow turned into a flood of mail from people all across the country who were starved for what Fr. Pat was offering, nothing less than the affirmation of God’s wondrous creation. Dignity was started as a small flame which rapidly grew into a wild fire. I remember well the heartfelt letters that came into the PO Box in Los Angeles. Letter after letter of stories that were heart wrenching. Letters of gratitude for what Dignity had to say. Cries for help.
Condemnation and judgment have never been a part of the vocabulary of Dignity. I have had the wonderful opportunity of knowing Fr. Pat personally. He was my mentor when I first came into the organization back in 1972 while Dignity was still in its infancy. Needless to say condemnation and judgment are not a part of Pat’s vocabulary either. He is a gentle man, and a very wise man. Early in his career and vocation he taught several courses at St. Augustine High School in San Diego, an all boys school. It was while he was a teacher at the high school that he felt the time was right to begin a therapy group for the Catholic gay young men he was already counseling on an individual basis. The rest is history as the saying goes.
As do many of our chapters around the country Dignity in San Antonio has its own colorful history. As a community of women and men striving to worship as a faith community, meeting the needs of the individuals who come to Dignity, providing information and education to the greater community, Dignity in San Antonio has much cause to celebrate.
It is indeed important and necessary that we take time to celebrate our past as we anticipate the future. There is much work yet to be done and I believe that each one of us is up to the challenge, each in our own special way.
It is not enough, in fact it is selfish, for us to be satisfied that we have found a safe haven in Dignity. As long as there is injustice we can never be satisfied. We have all been called to be care givers each in our own way. The fact that there remains so much unnecessary pain, so much misinformation, so much hate and ignorance is reason enough that we must care to give of our time and our talents to help others achieve the same level of dignity we have in our own lives. We are not all called to be speech makers, marchers in parades and protests. We are not all called to be writers and theologians. We are not all called to presidents and vice presidents. What we are all called to be is true to ourselves and to one another in our journey to justice and love.
Where have we been all these years?
We have been on a journey, a journey to justice and equality.
"By the Grace of God I Am Who I Am....... and God’s Grace towards Me Has Not Been in Vain".
Diversity has played a significant role in Dignity’s journey. It is by no accident that women in Dignity have prominent roles in our organization. It is by no accident that women make up an increasing number of our membership. It is the result of years of education and witness. Dignity, in many ways, represents what the Catholic Church could become, a Church of equals. Class Distinction has no place in Dignity and should have no place in the Church. Dignity has a long way to go in becoming a most diverse organization. Where are all the people of color? Where are all the straight people? The answer to those 2 questions is that they are increasing in number in Dignity. When Dignity was in its formative years there was a tremendous need for a closed, almost exclusive community. It was a time of Closets and Cliques. There was a need to cluster with those who shared our fears and frustrations and in an underground type of atmosphere. In San Diego, Dignity met for many years in the basement of the Catholic Cardijn Center — we often referred to it as our catacomb. When ever we met on the first floor for special occasions it was like going to the "upper room".
The closet doors have since been opened and the cliques have turned into communities. We are learning to embrace diversity in our own communities as a beautiful thing. We now know that we have so much to benefit from the association with others who may not be gay or lesbian or bisexual or transgender and yet support us in our journey. In fact they share our journey for justice and equality.
Contrary to what the Vatican would have us believe, we are NOT objectively disordered, and our expression of love for one another is NOT intrinsically evil. We are the people of God, and the people of God are the church. And we cannot rest as long as the Church hierarchy continues to allow such demeaning language when referring to the people of God.
Thank God for Dignity. And thank God for people like you — who make a difference in more ways than you can imagine.
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